Release Notes #17
Today, I read a Bluesky thread by Cheryl Lynn Eaton that said:
There are so many people giving out relationship advice and no one’s giving out solitude advice. Someone needs to get on that. I’m not being flippant. I think it’s actually needed.
There’s no third voice telling people how to navigate solitude during those infrequent dips into loneliness. There are experts telling people how to get a partner on the positive side. On the negative side there are “experts” promoting misogyny and misandry for financial gain.
Here was one of the replies:
First thing, you have to love yourself. Nobody else will Second thing, you have to keep busy. Too busy to examine your navel and sink into depression Third thing, you need to socialize. That can be online or through volunteer work or paid work Forth thing, pets help. But be fair to the animal
Me being me, I followed up and thought I’d put it in a release note:
- We are all worthy of love regardless of whether we love ourselves.
- Keeping busy is finite + speaks to a lot of harmful capitalist values + tropes (eg. burnout)
- Socialising isn’t necessarily safe or guaranteed due to accessibility or disability
- Same kinda thing for pets. Also cost?
I will say that occupying yourself is a good thing but to a point. You fundamentally need to be at peace with stillness and the present. If you’re not okay with that stillness/quietness/solitude, with everything switched off, busying yourself is just masking the problem.
There’s always one “if I was sad, I’d simply smile and not be sad” person.